Dallas Beer Snobs: Heart Attack of the Month

Hypnotic Donuts - Plano, Texas

Donuts are bad for you mmmmmkay? So don't eat donuts.

What? You know the they are bad for you? You want me to come up with something better than that? Jeez, pushy today, aren't we?

Let's examine the plain old glazed donut, shall we? Unhealthy white, bleached flour, fried in unhealthy grease and then dipped in unhealthy sugar. What can be worse than that? Well the mad scientists at Hypnotic donuts have found the way, several ways in fact, on how to make one of the most unhealthy food items in existence even more so.

Canadian Healthcare

Smore, Hypnotic, LOTRS, LMLT,

Let's examine, for an example, the Canadian Healthcare donut. Take the aformentioned glazed donut, top it with maple frosting and cap it with bacon. Oh my. How about the Kara's Me Love You Long Time donut which is a glazed donut topped with whipped cream cheese, hoisin sauce, and crushed fortune cookie and a intact fortune cookie in the middle ... fortune and all. You may wish to try the Land of the Rising Sun donut. Glazed donut with white frosting, wasabi sunflower seed and crystallized ginger. But I guess if I really wanted to max out my daily death wish I would order the signature Hypnotic donut. This beast is a chocolate cake donut with their butter cream frosting, crushed peanut butter Captain Crunch, pretzels and chocolate AND caramel drizzel. Guaranteed to gum up the works. Too much sugar for you? Don't worry, they have biscuits too, but don't make the mistake of thinking that they are any healthier. Let me recommend the Kaye's Killer Queso biscuit. Fried chicken, whipped cream cheese, fresh jalepenos and queso. Artery clogging goodness.

Kaye's Killer Queso

Hypnotic Donuts is a bitch to find. You drive up Preston, just south of Frankford, looking for the sign and you don't see it anywhere. Do you know why? No sign. That's because they are located inside a tiny, take-out only pizza joint called The Pizza Guy. The Pizza Guy is barely seen in a very nondescript, mostly empty shoppng center located right behind the La Hacienda Ranch restaurant. So you decide that you want to stop in before work to try to be hypnotized into believing that these treats are good for you. You pull up and find that .... it is not open. Crap. Why not? Because they are only open on Saturday and Sunday. So then you decide to try it again and drive up for a late morning snack at say ... 11:00 on Saturday, and you see that it is closed. Double crap, what now? Sorry dude, it is only open until 10:00 on Saturday, and 10:30 on Sunday OR until they run out of fixins. It is kind of like they are trying to fail. No sign, very limited times and days, no place to eat the donuts (you have to get them to go) and on top of all of that, cash only. But look at that frigging line snaking out the door, patiently awaiting their turn. I kind of wonder if the pizza is any good but find myself not caring...give me another damned donut, please.

Hypnotic Donuts