Our Pairing Suggestions for Thanksgiving 2017

Hello Snobs, and welcome to the beginning of the season of debauchery where some of us ... many of us .... OK, most of us will stuff everything in our fat faces that we can get our hands on.  We must admit that Thanksgiving is our favorite holiday, because it is an honest holiday with no hidden meanings, no religious connotations, no commercialism, just simply getting together with family and friends and enjoying a feast of thanks. 
Frankly, some of us .... many of us .... OK, most of us will overdo the feasting part a tad .... some ... OK, we will way overdo the face stuffing bit so you don't want to fill up on liquids, do you?  You also don't want to drink something that will kill you palate so that you can't enjoy the oral delights that you are jamming into your pie hole.  Love the high IBU Ipa's?  Well, this is not the holiday for those as you will damage your taste buds and not be able to enjoy Grandma's delicate Jello casserole. Bud Light will be fine, won't it? Are you nuts? Those highly carbonated mass market beers will fill you up so much that you may miss out on the Pumpkin Pie.
So let's talk low carbonated, lightly flavored accompaniments, shall we? "Like water?" you ask. Oh hell no, it's much easier to paste on a fake smile while we hear, for the 24th year in a row, Uncle Walt's story of how he told President Clinton off at a meet and greet. Your family's ignorance is much more tolerable with a mild buzz.

Beer - The flavors of the Thanksgiving feast are all over the place, so it is important to choose a beer style with a broad flavor spectrum.  As always we will recommend Saison DuPont (6.5% ABV) as the premier beer to pair with the meal. Low carbonation, wonderfully earthy flavor, decent alcohol content makes this a perfect accompaniment.  We do acknowledge that many of you don't particularly like the barnyardy taste of saisons, so as a substitute we recommend that you use a British style bitter (no, they are not bitter to the taste, the British just love to name things in a confusing manner, for instance black pudding isn't a pudding at all, it's frigging blood sausage .... erk) or a fine brown ale. Think Fuller's ESB (5.9% ABV) or Newcastle Brown Ale (4.7% ABV) which are malty, with low carbonation and even ever so slightly sweet.

Cider - Didn't think about ciders, did you? That's why we are here for you. Ciders have very low carbonation and are sneaky.  That asshat Uncle Walt will think that he is drinking apple juice up until the moment he passes out on the sofa watching football. Stfu, Walt.  We are lucky enough to have a fine cidery right here in town that makes a dandy cider, if you can get it.  High and Dry (6.8% ABV) by Bishop Cider Company is about as perfect as you can get for the dinner pairing, but you may have trouble finding it.  If you want a cider more readily accessible try Crispin Ciders, especially the Crispin  Artisinal Reserve Lansdowne (6.9% ABV) which tastes like cider mixed with Scotch ale and molasses, which, to be honest, will either be loved or hated or perhaps Crispin's The Saint (6.8% ABV), which smells and tastes like a Belgian trippel.

Wines - Beaujolais nouveau is a red wine made from Gamay grapes produced in the Beaujolais region of France. It is the most popular vin de primeur, fermented for just a few weeks before being released for sale on the third Thursday of November. This light and fruity delight is what we typically pair with our Thanksgiving dinner (ikr?) and is so easy to drink even your overly plump, soda swilling cousin from Alabama will find herself sipping a glass or two. Wine snobs are even bigger asses than we are and if you lucky enough to have one in the family you will hear 'Red wine? With poultry? Are you mad?".  For this pompous ass we suggest that you hand them a glass (that you spit into, first) of dry riesling like the Chateau Ste. Michelle Columbia Valley Riesling which is inexpensive and subtle and pairs with almost anything.

Hard Liquor -  We really don't recommend strong liquor until after everyone has said their goodbyes, then you can pour yourself a stiff one and thank god that you won't have to see them again for a year.

Cheers, Bon